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SHARE MY CAB

US President Barack Obama is pushing health care reform while members of Congress argue over details of the reform. Although 47 million Americans are not insured and 25 million are underinsured, members of Congress are fully insured. So, there’s no rush.

If you’re under the knife in Turkmenistan keep one eye open. The president, a dentist named Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov,  was allowed to do the first, ceremonial operation at a new cancer hospital. The patient, probably a member of the opposition, is still kicking and screaming. Now, Turkmenistan officials (both of them) are recommending the president’s new book on medicinal plants. If he gives you a choice between brain surgery and chewing on a leaf, take the leaf.

South Africa’s poorest people are protesting in the streets. They want basic services like water and electricity and the police are using rubber bullets to shut them up. Why doesn’t somebody just give them what they want? If you didn’t have a TV to watch or a toilet to flush or a sink to wash in, wouldn’t you be protesting? I sure would. I’d even use my cab.

The US Senate said no to a gun-advocate law that would have made it legal to bring a licensed gun from one state to another, sort of a universal licence to take-your-guns-to-town. If it had passed, you can imagine people from Texas visiting New York with their six guns in their holsters and their big old hats. I’m not saying I don’t allow guns in my cab. If you’ve got a gun, I just drive you where you want to go and I don’t sweat the tip.

The English language is spreading fast. Just check out the latest edition of the German dictionary, Duden (derived, no doubt, from the English word . . . Dude). German teenage boys can now say they’re going to ‘eine after-show-party’ to meet ‘das it girl’ - - - although I doubt she’ll still be there.  One of the 5,000 new words in this edition of the dictionary is vorratsdatenspeicherung, a 23-letter word which means the saving of data relating to supplies. No wonder they need English!

Henry Markram, director of the Blue Brain Project, says a functional, artificial human brain can be built within the next 10 years.  The question is, Will it fit in the cab?

Jupiter was just hit by a comet or asteroid which left a gash about the size of the earth. The same thing could happen here, too, but it is not likely to happen before Thanksgiving and, the odds are, not till Christmas and, if we’re lucky, we have until Sarah Palin runs for the White House, so, 2012 . . . or longer. Just kidding. It could happen tomorrow. That’ll be $53.50.